Joy over Pain

Joy Over Pain
Liz Soko
Liz Soko

Healer | Writer | Yogi

At any given moment, we have the opportunity to step up or stay the same. Choosing joy over pain allows us to consistently reach towards something better. Choosing pain and fear retains us in a position of victimization.

How can I choose joy when I have experienced awful things like rejection and emotional abuse?

Victimization is like quicksand, it is easy to get into and hard to get out of.

I was in a serious cycle of self-hatred and victimization for a lot of my life, until I realized that thinking negatively does not help the situation. Actually, it damages any positive potential. I kept choosing pain as my perspective, because that pain is what my mind remembered as the result of my experiences.


Some would argue that having positive expectations consistently ends with unsatisfactory results. I would tell these people that they are missing the belief component.

You can say or think whatever, but until you believe from the inner child part of yourself that this can truly happen…nothing will happen.

Once I started choosing joy as my lens of observation, my experiences shifted to an opposite world where I could see myself succeeding.

Believing Better


I know this leap into blind happiness and unlocked potential is intimidating for most, unrealistic at best. I was skeptical about the power of belief and intention as well.

There is no rush and there is no timeline, but I know it feels like there is when the soul craves fulfillment.

When we desire something and cannot imagine ourselves worthy of this desire, we fall into despair.

The first question is, “Why can everybody have this besides me?” Then the competitive mental component comes into play and the trajectory of victimization is solidified. This is a slippery slope.

The mind and heart are wrestling for your attention, one in the form of thoughts and the other in the form of emotions. They are on different pages and cannot find a resolution until one overpowers the other.

I believe that choosing the heart, that choosing emotions, is the side that guarantees access to both emotions of joy and pain. If we have access to them, then we can see them for what they are and free ourselves from their hold.

If we do not investigate our connections to joy and pain, then we are manipulated by them. They have power of us.

Find the Connections

To extract your emotional connections, do not be afraid to go into your own unique memory bank.

When did you first experience an overwhelming feeling of happiness?

When did you first experience loss, sadness, pain, or disappointment?

I believe that the mind records sensory representations when they are linked to emotions. In this sense, the heart okays the recording of an experience. All of our memories are linked to an emotion or a mixed up combo.

You don’t have to look too far to find these connections if you have the intention of connection in mind. Yes, I will not lie, you must relive the memory and investigate the emotion in regards to the factors of the situation. But, you always gain something whether it’s a lesson or release.

What we all want is to walk away from the control of embarrassment and shame upon our lives. While addressing these experiences directly, we increase awareness and shift perspectives.

I will include a personal example:

“I was always embarrassed about my muscular body type…I was called a man, fat, and big. Especially, in the ballet world, I felt misplaced and unwelcome.  I internalized all of these emotions of embarrassment and shame. I had to return to these awful memories of hating my body, of feeling like my body was a punishment, to change my body image. It hurt, it hurt to see that I was a kid under the influence of negativity projecting people. I forgave myself, that was genuinely the only thing I could do. I forgave the people who made me feel insecure, the society too. I shifted my experience from pain to joy by connecting the dots of my memories.”

Do I feel completely okay with everything in my life? No, absolutely not. Even the most enlightened person will experience doubt and fear. They, however, see these drops in awareness as an opportunity to step into a perspective of joy.

Joy over pain

Remember, shifting to a perspective of joy is a lifelong journey. We are blinded to deeper understandings because of the trauma that blocks our access to them.

I know everybody can do this with the correct tools and information. What’s stopping everyone? Fear.

Don’t worry, we can handle it together and we are starting to.

The Art of Soul Growth | Soul Threshold

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